SBHQ Farewell Remarks

When I thought about writing this report I stopped immediately. Not because I know it seals my fate that the year is over but because I don’t know how to say all the things that need to be said. I want this report to mean something, and to make a difference. I want it to give you an idea of what this year has really been in all its glory and its not so glorious moments. I want it to be real. Throughout this report I hope to share with you the good, the bad, and possibly the ugly. What you will hear is based on things I have experienced this year and the things that need to be brought to light in order for Job’s Daughters to survive.

I’m not going to give you a play-by-play of events because Lord knows that would take too long but I would like to share with you the events that meant the most to me throughout my travels.

Supreme in Chicago was a whirlwind of tears, disbelief, anger, frustration, and anxiety. Many things that went down I never expected to happen. The obvious being that I was chosen to be Supreme Bethel Honored Queen. Not only was that a surprise but an event that happened in my own Bethel was a violent upheaval of everything I had known about the conduct of Job’s Daughters and the rules that are supposed to protect us. Needless to say it was a very confusing week.

Friday evening rolled around and my expectations were high as I would be meeting my new travel companion for the year. Megan Cook was named Miss International Job’s Daughter. " Wow. I’ll tell you what. Wow." It hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized she had just turned 16 and she would have to juggle school, extra curricular activities, and an obligation to girls around the world that she had never met. My stomach was in knots when I thought about all the things she would not be able to do because of her other obligations and how I would have to pick up the slack when she wasn’t there. It definitely was not what I had expected from the pageant.

I left Chicago with a feeling of uncertainty about the year and whether I would be able to do this job with everything else that had happened. My family was my saving grace when I finally got the chance to talk to them about Supreme and they assured me that I was strong enough to take on the world.

Visits started almost immediately with Wyoming’s Grand Lodge and Grand Chapter. They continued with Minnesota, and Australia, "where I spilled tomato sauce on my jumper, not ketchup on my sweater." Utah, Idaho, and Montana. I finished September with Shirley’s reception in Jackson and our visit to Alaska.

October brought the first of two trips to Nevada , the first Wyoming Grand Bethel meeting and dance of the year and some days at home to prepare for the longest trip of the year.

November started with General Grand Chapter where I was invited to bring remarks . I was asked to speak in front of a crowd roughly 4,500 people strong. I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to string two coherent sentences together despite the fact that I was reading from a speech I had written and rewritten weeks before. Luckily it turned out all right and we had many people visit our booth that day.

Megan’s reception in Boise was next on the list and continued with visits to Florida, North Carolina, and Virginia. This meant being away from home for Thanksgiving. That was tough as I had never been away on a major holiday. Luckily the Robinson’s invited Shirley and me to spend Thanksgiving with them.

December started in Delaware, continued in Maryland, British Columbia, Manitoba, Arizona, and ended in New Mexico. I had a great time with most of these jurisdictions and I started some jokes that still make me recognizable today. "I’m a pirana, They’re in the Amazon. AR AR AR." It was during this stretch that I encountered the worst loneliness I had ever felt in my life. "I just can’t do it captain. I don’t have the power." I was away from home for 7 weeks and I learned that it was way to long to be gone.

The new year started with a bang with visits to Texas, Oklahoma, Kentucky, Illinois, and Michigan. This would be the first year I wasn’t at home for my birthday and Wyoming Ski Weekend. Illinois did a great job of making up for that but I still felt that absence of my jurisdiction considering that I had never spent a birthday without the Jobies and DeMolay.

After three days at home I was off to Brazil. I was so excited to be visiting a country so unlike my own. I had no idea what would be in store so that contributed to the anticipation.

The discoveries I made are life altering. I finally understood what Job’s Daughters is supposed to be and I will tell you, we have a lot to learn. I saw with my own eyes what it means to love Job’s Daughters, your sisters in your Bethel and how to love this order. The Brazilians have it down and I think it’s time we start taking notes. Not only did those girls and adults teach me what it means to be proud to be a Job’s Daughter but the entire experience taught me about two of my travel companions and one that I only knew by reputation.

That trip even in its greatness brought the worst disappointment of the year. I learned in Brazil and the days that followed that I don’t know Shirley and Megan as well as I thought I did. It was then that I finally realized that my goals and ambitions for this order are not shared by the two of them and my expectations for our respective positions are not viewed in the same light. This lesson was very heart breaking but it made me appreciate the things we do have in common.

February was a long month for the fact that I didn’t sleep for most of it. After Brazil I was privileged to assist with the Institution of the first Bethel in Tennessee. That alone was a wild ride. I had never even seen an Institution ceremony let alone be part of one. It was so cool. The Installation was a bit more difficult because four of us girls had to do it after having just been involved in a car accident. I was very excited to learn that girls were ready to step up just in case we were not able to do our part. Thanks to those girls.

Colorado was our last visit of the month and I had a great time.

March started with our visit to Las Vegas. I had a fantastic time touring the city, visiting the casino’s "Check this out fellas, all reds." and seeing the lights. I fell in love with the fountains at the Bellagio and I’ve decided I’m going to have some like that in my front yard.

It continued with visits to Scottsbluff, NE and Wisconsin. "What’s going on eh?" where I was asked to judge ritual competition. That was one of the highlights of the year. March ended with me spending time with my sister in Nebraska.

April rolled around with visits to West Virginia, Ohio, Instituting a Bethel in Corpus Christi, Texas, Indiana, Arkansas, and Dad Ashley’s reception in Missouri.

May began with a two drives to Denver International Airport before getting on the plane to Canada because I forgot my passport. "You’re killing me Smalls." My reception came next where those in attendance had a good time playing some softball, getting some sun and soaking me with ice water from the cooler.

Pennsylvania was next on the list and I had a fantastic time visiting Patton Campus, The Hershey factory and Gettysburg battlefield with our own personal tour guide.

The month ended with my second trip to Boise to see Megan get installed as Honored Queen of Bethel 6. "Get her done."

June came and my countdown to Supreme began. I traveled to Fremont, NE for an Installation and visit to Bethel 15 where I was put to work cleaning up the highway. It was great. My sister and I then went north to South Dakota. We were both inducted into a very secret club and I was again privileged to judge, this time for the Spirit Ambassador competition. It was a great experience.

Wyoming’s grand session came and went. Competition were held and meetings were attended. I was glad to be home among friends.

Arizona’s session was my last and final trip of the year where I was greeted with hugs and excitement. I was given the opportunity to Install the Grand Bethel of Arizona after a 6 year break. It was a very exciting time and I loved seeing all of the familiar faces.

Now it’s August and here we are. The year has come to an end and I hope you have enjoyed hearing about my year of travels in a nut shell.

I would like to take this time to share with you some of the things I have noticed and learned. If we want to see Job’s Daughters survive for years and years to come we have got to make some changes.

We keep stressing membership and how the girls need to work harder to bring in new members. What we don’t say is how we need the Mason’s to start doing the same thing. Job’s Daughters mandates that a girl must have a relation to a Mason in order to join. This requirement drastically cuts the pool because there aren’t as many Masons as there once were therefore not as many girls have the relation they need. We try to stress that if a girl doesn’t have a relationship she can get her dad or grandpa or whoever to join the local Lodge. The encouragement works fine, it’s the explanation of masonry that gets us. We know that all Masons wear aprons, some wear fancy collars and top hats. What we don’t know is how to explain what a Master Mason is. We don’t know how to tell people what the aprons, collars and hats are for. We don’t know how to explain why we can’t go to their meetings or what their ritual means. We don’t know why the Forget-me-not flower was a symbol of brotherhood and why Mason call each other brothers. If we are to help the Masons and ourselves with membership it is vital that we be able to explain each organization. I would encourage all of you Masons in the room to talk to the Brothers in your lodge and your Grand Master to have a program established to teach your members and ours what The Fraternity is. We have to help each other but at this point it has to start with you.

In my Jobie career I have heard people refer to the politics in Job’s Daughters as a "game." and you have to learn to play the game in order to survive. This concept is very disturbing to me because that isn’t what Job’s Daughters is suppose to be. We are supposed to learn how to respect each other and ourselves, support each other in daily life and get along even when we would rather not. This game changes all of those rules. This game teaches girls that it’s ok to stab one another in the back for personal gain. This game teaches us that it’s acceptable to treat people badly if it’s going to give you the upper hand. This game has become the down fall of our order. Girls no longer know how to celebrate other’s accomplishments. They don’t know how to love despite differences. They no longer feel protected because the rules can change in the blink of an eye. They don’t trust all of their adults anymore because it’s hard to know who has the girls at heart and who is playing just to further their own ambitions. Job’s Daughters is no longer a safe environment. This game has got to stop. The back stabbing must cease. And the constant hurting of one another has got to go. We will not survive if we can’t get along. We have to start today, right now or the game will never end.

This year hasn’t only been about what I’ve learned about myself and this organization, it’s also taught me a little about the world and the people in it. Here is a brief rundown of my favorite and lasting memories.

*No matter who you are or where you go there is always someone happy to see you.

*Escalators are dangerous.

*Never lose touch with home.

*Someone will always make up for the energy you lack.

*One smile can brighten someone’s entire day.

*Accepting compliments is more difficult than it looks

*You are never better than anyone else so don’t fool yourself into thinking you are.

*If you have been away long enough everyone at home will welcome you back.

*Hammocks are not toys.

*First impressions are vital so be sincere

*Don’t be afraid to be silly. The connections you can make are incredible.

*Modesty is okay but not when you are turning down the kudos you deserve.

*Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

*No matter how many times you leave it’s always tough to say good-bye.

*Your sisters in the Bethel should never be treated worse than your enemies.

*I don’t want a job that requires traveling all the time.

*Quoting movies is an art. Timing must be perfect.

*Loyalty means supporting a friend in his darkest hour no matter how many times he pushes you away or how helpless you feel in the situation.

*I thought I knew how much my parents loved me, but it took two trips to the airport in one day to know for sure.

*I knew what my friends meant to me until I was so far removed from them that now I don’t think I can ever get back.

*Self discovery is a journey you should never give up on.

*Love is never lost. It just changes faces.

Respectfully submitted:
Renea Frances Spoonemore
Supreme Bethel Honored Queen
2003-2004

And I’m out....